Detox your Relationship – Novel findings on Covert Narcissism and People Pleasing.

Are you one of these people who got caught in a toxic relationship? Is the drama out of control? Are dark moods riding you? Are you unable to restrain from throwing tantrums, continually devaluating your partners and convincing them they need therapy – or are you on the other side of that same coin? Do you feel mistreated by someone who genuinely loves you, because: “you don’t get your act together”? Has your relationship run into a persistent no-sex phase? Or is it at an earlier stage, where you realise that the intimacy has been missing from your life?

If you feel that way, take it easy, you are not the only one. The entire world suffers from this condition, it is systemic. Narcissism, and the complementary co-dependent, who recently found entry into the manual of clinical psychology as the ‘people pleaser’, are not only found in the remaining core family units falling apart in suburbia, the condition has long ago left home and conquered politics, corporate hierarchies and the military. Abuse is everywhere. The good thing about suburbia is, that in the remaining core family, it becomes possible to depict the mechanism, and as it looks like, it is not only systemic, it is universal.

Let us zoom in step by step. Life at times feels like being lost in a mirror cabinet. And this is why: first of all, when we are identified with our day consciousness, we are like characters in a book. There is a villain, and a victim, and the one who comes to the rescue: they all do what they do because their self-perception is limited, split into conscious and subconscious, and their qualities are arranged complementary in a way that the drama triangle perpetuates forever. When we try to heal ourselves from the trauma we inflicted on each other dancing around in the drama triangle, we restage those traumatic events on others. This is elementary. We do that at the cost of some bad Karma. We do this until we have learned our lesson and realize how those three complementary character-pairs feel when interacting, until we have learned everything about every perspective of every interaction. This is when the two complementary sides of all three coins join together, and the realization allows us to return to the position of the author of the novel of our lives, home into unity consciousness.

If life could be simple as that, we would have found out by now, and the entire experiment of duality would have ended a long time ago, in a big laugh.

Therefore, whoever created this place installed a second set of mirrors, that were designed to disorientate people to prolong the game. These mirrors allow us to project all that is subconscious within ourselves onto the actions of our counterparts. Too much theory here? Let us look at an example. One of the favourite tools of a Narcissist is gaslighting, i.e. to talk his victim into the belief they are sick and need help. The ‘narc’ will not realize he is in any type of persecutor role here, because out of his perception, his victim really needs help. When the victim finally wakes up calling the narc out on his narcissistic behaviour, the narc will retort: “stop gaslighting me!”. This is projection. It is not sarcasm. These guys believe what they say.

This is why it feels like being lost in a mirror cabinet, because there are so many mirrors reflecting us back and forth. These mirrors are used to herd us in the illusion of separation, keep us in the game to teach us about all the different perspectives that can be taken, and give us the unique chance to experience ourselves in a limited scope. This is like the wise and benevolent king who tells his magician to make him forget who he is for a year, as he wants to experience himself as a beggar, to become a better king.

Clinical psychology gave up on healing narcissism. However, there is some research coming more from a shamanic tradition, that found ways to exit this mirror cabinet. Shamanism and clinical psychology are kind of complementary. One calls himself science and bans any form of subjectivity, bases itself on data only, and the other one is the art of subjective perception per se. It does not come by surprise that the attempt to merge both concepts came up with some fruitful findings, and we finally do have a protocol for healing narcissism.

Just as a teaser: how would you like a reinterpretation of the Freudian ego/superego-structure that allows the merging of the Freudian model with the drama triangle and individualizes the positions to any extent given. If you want to dive into it, the paper is too long for this space here, but you can choose to follow the white rabbit down the rabbit hole.


Posted in Psychology.


  1. Harald, what for real we can do? What actions needs to be taken to escape duality? I already have seen many of your videos… and I am ready to become my true self. What I have to do? Please help me to understand?

    Love and light

  2. Hello Sir,

    I don’t suppose you have an affiliate here in the eastern US.

    I was also wondering if I could obtain the water here in the form you described in
    The Seven Keys.

    Finally, in your opinion, is it beneficial to drink distilled water to cleanse out
    minerals not utilized by the body? Surprisingly, I’m hearing about more and more
    people who drink only distilled water.

    Thank you.

  3. If orthodox main stream Science in America cared enough about their own reputation among the people who occupy this land, they would make more than a lame, half hearted effort at debunking the Flat Earth Theory.
    The powers that be have been lying to us for thousands of years via their acolytes . University is after all, an extension of the church.
    How does that Nazi era quote go ?: “The bigger the lie, ……”
    The arguments against the globe model are numerous and quite convincing at times. One only needs to research it on the net to get the picture.

    Please excuse my off topic comment. Thanks for listening.

    • Never mind off topic. The thing with the flat earth is more complex. All we have are “consciousness rooms”, different ones, from species to species. The human consciousness room has been blinded regarding the scalar dimension, therefor they turned scalar to an Z-axis, i.e. hight, to form a 3D space. This is not accurate. It is a function of debilitating the third eye. When people awaken and re-activate their pineal gland, they more get an Anunaki like consciousness, where Z is perceived different from X and Y. Z does not warp around the globe and point into the center of a spherical planet. In Anunaki perception, all zivilisations are on the same plane at the same time on different layers of different scalar potential. Space does not exist. If I can feel this due to an activate pineal gland, but have the habit of perceiving an open 3D space at the same time, the subjective feeling of flat earth is generated. It is a hybrid perception, therefor full of internal contradictions, natural for the moment of awakening. I could ask: all objects is space are spherical, why should earth only be a disk. Why does a flight from Cape town to Perth take 8 hours only if both are on the periphery of a disk? Why do ship-transponder-routes turn out convex on the northern hemisphere and concave on the southern? There, 3D with spheres can not be denied. Still, there is a truth to the Anunaki perception, the model is closer to real physics in the sense of quantum gravity research, where we have an 8 to 4D crosscut projected in different angles onto a 3D plane. Try to go the entre way and dissolve the space illusion. Feel the other civililasion overlaying ours, clairvoyence can manage to see and visit them here. Then you feel the real McCoy.

      • Some of that will take me a while to digest. 🙂
        If you haven’t seen this guys stuff, I think it is worth visiting. He speaks quite a bit about his BebBen stone theory. This is his newest but best to start from his earlier ones.

  4. The 25,000 around the world that die from starvation every day. What are their guardian angels doing for them? Are they “in the place they are supposed to be” spiritually, or are they, rather, getting the shit end of the stick?
    Why do your angels assist you but not them? Because you asked and they didn’t? Hhhmmm. Sounds fishy to me.

  5. Hello Harald!

    These words are born out of deep recognition for the energy you shine! I’ve “always” felt sort of ashamed of showing where I come from.
    And finding you was a milestone in my life. I know, I hear the call as well. I felt it. I feel it even now.
    Thank you for being True. Motivated me to start writing my own meditations and to put them “out there”. And even though people don’t read, or don’t listen, because I haven’t found the channel, I still feel immensely relieved I started to let things out.
    I was on the road the other day and again, toiling with old thoughts, it suddenly came onto me. I placed my hand on my chest, and feeling the magnitude of Love All is, I opened my eyes, and I remembered your words. Again and again, it resonates with me, so deeply, so profoundly, it changed my life for the better.
    I have quit my day-to-day job and I will be off to learn techniques of building sustainably, alongside permaculture. I had a vision from very early on and now that vision is driving me, pulling me towards, and shaping me, molding me.
    It envelops me tenderly, and gives me security in knowing that even though I threw financial security out the window, I can tune into another currency now. The love currency.
    Thank you.
    Maybe we get to meet one day. If not, may you receive some of the gratitude I feel right now.


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